Veternas Day 2013

I am a veteran.  I state that not in looking for reward or praise, but as a statement of fact.  I didn’t join the Army in 1983 for either.  Nor did my time in service make me a hero.  I definitely didn’t join the Army to become a hero to anyone.  To be honest it was almost 10 years after I got out of the Army that I ever even went to a Veterans Day celebration, and even then it was only because my son asked me to attend one at school. 

Like most veterans from my time, I never had to see war.  I was fortunate.  Men and women before and after me have not been so fortunate.  To me, even today, Veteran Day is more for those men and women than myself.  I think you’ll find a majority of veterans aren’t looking for anything.  The thank-yous are nice, but I’ve never asked for one, nor have I ever expected one.  And if you want to know the truth, I’m a bit uncomfortable with them sometimes.  There are many veterans so much more deserving that I am of those thank-yous. 

I think I am in the majority of veterans.  Most veterans I know are more comfortable talking about being a veteran with someone who is a veteran because we understand it’s not about anyone being better than anyone else.  We are no more deserving of anything over anyone else.  Amongst ourselves you don’t hear thank-you or you’re a hero or anything else, and I think as a group we are more comfortable just being another one of the guys. 

To be honest the Army has already paid me back many times over for my service.  My continued learning of life skills like respect, honesty, trustworthiness, discipline, and managing people are all things that were reinforced and refined in the Army.  And while my job in the military of breaking codes didn’t translate very well into the civilian world, I did find out that I had a talent for computers that I later followed and is my career today.  It gave me 8 years to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, all the time knowing I’d have a paycheck and roof over my head and 3 meals a day in my belly.  When I was 18 I was overwhelmed with the prospect of going out into the ‘adult world’, and the Army gave me a productive purpose while I worked through those things.   

Between my parents and the Army I’ve seen more of the world than I bet 1 in 10,000 have.  Not only did my parents get me through all 50 states, but the Army got me through or allowed me to go through a couple of dozen countries (though I’d like to have not been in one or two of them). 

Don’t get me wrong, I knew very well what I was signing up for.  I understood, and was reminded time and time again of the possibilities.  There were risk with the rewards, and that was always clearly understood and accepted by me, and everyone else who ever signed into the military.  I have heard gun shots in my direction from people who wanted to kill us.  And I’ve missed life events that all I ever got to see were the pictures afterwards because the Army had other plans then I did, sometimes at the very last minute after plane tickets were purchased.  And even with all that I signed on the dotted line not once, but twice. 

So what do I want through all this? Nothing.  Honestly nothing.  Again, I never joined the Army expecting anything when I got out other than the promises Uncle Sam made to me if I provided honorable service. 

I have learned to graciously accept the thank-yous and other talk after 25 years, much like when someone gives you a present that you didn’t ask for nor do you really want.  I’ve even learned to be appreciative when the school or VFW or someone else wants to recognize veterans for their service, though I’m much more comfortable giving that recognition than receiving it.

I do believe our schools need to teach our children about what Veterans Day stands for, something I’m blessed that our school does a fine job of doing.  But I also think they need to teach what Memorial Day, Labor Day, Flag Day, Presidents Day and many other days stand for, and not that they are just days off from work or school, or a day to drink beer and BBQ.

If you really want to thank a veteran, then live up to the potential you were meant to.  Do your civic duties like jury duty and responsible voting.  Be a good citizen.  Honestly you’d be thanking every veteran more by doing those type of things than anything else you could do ever say to us.

God Bless,
Dennis Nesser
Veteran US Army 

Zimmerman/Martin - The System - Prejudice and Responsibility

I have for the most part kept quiet about Zimmerman/Martin case, and honestly what I want to talk about is much larger than that, it’s about ‘the system’ and the racial portion of this this case and how we as a society have to look at what we’re teaching our children.  I expect that many will disagree, and you are more than welcome to unfriend me if you’d like, but I have points I want to make.
 
First the easiest for me.  The system that acquitted Mr. Zimmerman is not perfect.  As it’s been pointed out he had good lawyers (read lawyers that not everyone could afford) that definitely made his defense much clearer than most public defenders ever could of.  But that doesn’t make justice based on any color other than the color of green.  OJ Simpson was black with plenty of green, and it got him off a murder case just the same as it did Mr. Zimmerman. 
 
Is the system perfect? Far from it!  But is the best system known to man today? YES!  I heard quotes of Zimmerman just needed to go to jail without a trial.  Has the Un-Patriot Act not taught you anything?  The second you give up freedoms that are inherent in our country, more will be taken away.  When we take away a citizens right to a trial by a jury of his peers  for ANY reason what so ever, that is just the start of the long and slippery slope to the king saying that he doesn’t like your face and you too will be thrown in jail.  Don’t believe me?  Look in history, its’ why the Magna Carta was written to start with.  It’s why our founding fathers demanded that the Bill of Rights was included in any constitution that was to be written.  It’s why we’ve been warned for 2 centuries to be vigilant about our rights and freedoms. 
 
Until someone comes up with a better system I will defend the system we have to my death. 
 
Now on to the prejudice that has been over the top the last several weeks.  About 4 years ago I got a taste of prejudice that floored me.  I was raise that you judge the man or woman by who they really were - their deeds, the quality of their word, and the love in their hearts, nowhere in there was the color of their skin. So when I came across an incident that brought out the worst in everyone (at a church no less) over race I was floored.  So I am not ignorant, nor do I wear rose colored glasses when it comes to the prejudice in this nation.  But that being said I’m going to make some points.
 
Why have we allowed newspapers and TV to report tabloid style news as mainstream news, and accept it?  This is not a left or a right thing, this is a left AND right thing!  Zimmerman is Hispanic, yet rarely did you see that, it was always white.  Why? Because THAT makes better reading, white man kills black man rather than Hispanic kills black man.  When it’s black on black or white on white is it reported that way? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a headline of “Black man kills another black man” or “White man kills another White man”, nope, not good reading.  But black on white we can stir emotions and get someone to read.  Come on people, can’t you see the game they are playing?  Your emotions are at play and they know it.  They bring you right down to the animalistic stage of evolution instead of the thinking human stage, and yet we fall for it every time. 
 
I’m so sick and tired of tabloid reporting.  While I’m not a fan of Obama, I have defended him several times lately because of the articles that were published were so freaking slanted that the truth was barely noticeable in the story.  If the news would report the news then we as voters could vote appropriately. Now you have to dig through so much manure to get to the news that even the real news smells funny.  And you think the media isn’t playing on raw emotions trying to get you hooked? Wake up!
 
Is there prejudice in America? Hell yes! Is it stupid? Hell yes! Is it ignorant? Hell yes!  And yet every time one of these incidents happen we perpetuate it into another generation by our reactions to the incident. 
A fear of the big bad white man holding us down (from a black perspective), a fear of the hoodlum based purely on his color, the Bohemian keeping the Mexicans down, the ….oh you get the picture..it goes on and on and on and never stops. 
 
Last I want to talk about is being personally responsible for your actions. 
 
If I ever heard that one of my 4 boys ever disrespected any authority their fear would be more from me than anything a prosecutor could ever do to them.  While this is more of a generational thing then a racial it needs to be addressed.  I don’t care how much you ‘hate those pigs’ or whatever it is you want to say, in the heat of the moments you do as you’re told!  Even in my household I tell my kids you don’t like the rule I’ve made, or the things I’ve told you to do, the moment to talk about it is NOT in the heat of the moment.  You get out of the situation and THEN you come back and say “I don’t think what you did was right or fair and I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again”.  Maybe that’s in the form of a lawsuit, but it’s not done at in the middle of the situation. 
 
Everyone has said if Zimmerman hadn’t followed Trayvon then Trayvon would be alive today.  What if Trayvon had done what my kids best do in a situation like that, and just sit, as unjustly as it might have been, and waited for authority to come send him on his way?  Now Trayvon has a civil suit and dollars in his pocket, and he’d be alive.  It took 2 to tangle that night, and I’m not excusing either one in this case, but this cannot solely sit on Zimmermans shoulder.
 
As parents we need to teach our kids that the second we do wrong in response to someone elses actions we ourselves become the bad guys and are no better than the other person, and we now become the targets of the law or any other sanctions that might come our way.  Easier said than done I know, but I also know that one of my sons took a beating without throwing a punch back.  The result the other boy was sent to jail, suspended from school and other sanctions, my son was a hero in my books, and by most of his peers.  What did he get? Sympathy and the law willing to do something all because he did what was right.  Had he thrown just 1 punch he too would have been suspended, he would of gotten exactly what the other boy got, and honestly the police wouldn’t have pursued the case with the vigor they did because they would of felt like justice was already done between the 2 of them.  Two wrongs never make a right!
 
Yes I’m not going to lie, there was humility in doing the right thing, but that is temporary compared to the permanent ramifications of not doing it right. 
 
Was dying for not doing what was right a just punishment? NO absolutely not! No! No! No! But I wasn’t there that night and can’t tell you what all went on, and guess what, neither were you!
I do know Zimmerman showed poor judgment following Martin that night.  A mistake that I think should keep him out of any kind of law enforcement in the future.  He has to take responsibility for his actions, and to me that’s part of it, show poor judgment you can’t be a policemen. 
 
So to summarize:
 
Our justice system isn’t perfect, but there isn’t a better one out there!
 
This prejudice has to stop, and we have to stop allowing media to stir raw emotions in us to perpetuate this hatred amongst people.  Politics, religion and race all seem to fall into this category. 
 
We HAVE to teach our children 2 wrongs never make a right!  There is a time and place to take corrective action, but if we stay ‘right’ we will eventually come out on top.  The second we cross that line we are no better than the person who was first ‘wrong’.   We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control our reactions.
 
Is there prejudice? Yes, but we have to deal with it NOT with emotions, but with real action and real thought processes.  And we who are old enough to know better need to get over some of our feelings getting hurt and let go so we can move on (again allowing emotions to control us), and more importantly teach our younger generation to do the same.
 
The tragedy and travesty of the Zimmerman/Martin incident is beyond my grasp.  I cannot imagine the Martins pain, or the day to day fear in Zimmermans life right now.  I would wish it on no one, regardless of color.
In closing, I wonder if just ½ the energy that’s been spewed in hatred over the couple of months, and in particular in the last month,  was used to push peace, harmony, and most of all forgiveness where our country would be.  Hatred is infectious.  Don’t believe me, go look at the Facebook post of people who would never say something like that out in public under normal circumstances, that perpetuated hate to one another, but because of the hatred being spewed jumped in.  Raw emotions at work.
 
I’m sure I haven’t made some happy with this post.  I’m sure some will call me racist and worst.  It won’t be the first time nor the last I post things that are not popular.  It’s ok, you can un-friend me if you’d like, I won’t hunt you down. I’ll pray for you.  But if a handful of you read this, nod your head and say ‘maybe he’s got a point or two and we need to think about it’, then it will be worth the week it’s taken me to write this.
 
God Bless,
Dennis

And the Pharisees said

It's been just over a week since the Boy Scouts of America have rescinded their decision to ban openly gay boys from scouting.  Now mind you that written policy is only just over 20 years old.  When I was growing up no such policy, neither for nor against, existed in scouting.  Honestly the day they added it was the start to the problems today. But I digress, but that's not where I wanted to go, what I wanted to go with is the reaction of many organizations since that vote.

The organizations want to quote Gods hatred of certain acts, especially homosexuality,  for grounds to drop scouting.  "It's a sin and we can't have it!" Where is the "morally straight' in scouting? So I'm going to use the WWJD here.

Matthew 9:9 - 13 tells us Jesus would sit at the table and eat with prostitutes and tax collectors (what more vile type of sinner was there?).....and then the Pharisees couldn't stand it...it's vile ...it's unclean...what the heck is He thinking?????  THOSE ARE SINNERS! Oh my!

Wow, the hypocrisy of it all.  I am a sinner!  In my almost 50 years I've never met someone face to face that is not a sinner.  I am oh so grateful for the mercy that God has granted me in my sins, and the future mercy He will grant for all the times I'll fail in the future.

I think in almost every ones case there is a sin we struggle with every day for the rest of our lives.  Alcohol, gluttony, anger, coveting, lust, etc, etc, etc.  And yet we forget that Jesus told us in John 8:7 that only those without sin should cast the first stone.  Well folks, that's not me, and truth be told, that's not you either.

Look a boy in their teens (even into their early 20's) often don't have a true clue to their sexuality.  Their brains are still trying to process all the hormonal adjustments that come along with puberty and the barrage of sexuality that our society dumps on them.  And until the 1990s the boy scouts had no, none, zero place in any sexuality (not heterosexual or homosexual).  And the removal of the statement banning gay boys basically takes sexuality out of scouting again.  It is not an approval of homosexuality, it's the removal of sexuality in our scouting programs all together. 

The Southern Baptist convention will vote to ban scouting in their churchs in a couple of weeks.  One of the Lutheran churches has put out a harsh statement and are looking for other alternatives.  And several other churches have dropped units are are in the process of it because of the drop of the ban in scouting.  Wow, I'm glad I'm not a member in any of those churches, because I would hate to think of what they think of me.  I would surely be branded too as a sinner and be banned.

I always though churches and the organizations they sponsor were for sinners to attend.  That the whole idea was to allow sinners to come and learn through acts and deeds about Gods infinite love.  That the fact I'm at church and learning from those ministering or leading the organization within our church was the first step in building a relationship with Christ so that I might learn the true love of God...and after learning that love I will make changes in my life to align myself with whatever plan God has with me....regardless of what that is.

Scouting is my ministry in life right now.  It's where God put me to make a difference in 100s of boys lives over the last decade.  I do it through example, through word, through failures, through success.  I do it with the help of others who are also sinners and struggle through life.

It shames me that in the name of Christ, the same Christ that I have NO doubt would be eating dinner with the gay community regularly, these Christian organizations are banning or turning a back on scouting.  But I guess better that we see the Pharisees in their true light than to be fooled into believing they really were working in the name of Christ.

Let the Pharisees pray out loud and beat themselves and quote their laws.  My God is a loving God who tells me to love my neighbor regardless of their sins.  Doesn't mean I have to love the sin, but again, who am I to judge?

WWJD
Dennis

Change

So for the 3rd time in my life I'm at the head of an organization as major change is coming about. 

Back 20 years ago I was an officer at the Eagle Lodge in San Antonio voted on and rejected, then later voted on and accepted the first black man in our lodge. 

Fifteen years ago I was president of the Elks Lodge in Gonzales as the National Elks brought the vote to the local level and we had to vote on whether or not to allow women in the Elks.  The vote was against letting women into the Elks that time.  Yet a couple of years later we had our first woman president. 

Now I'm Scoutmaster of Troop 262, liaison for Crew 264, Skipper for Ship 265 and Unit Commissioner for Gonzales serving 5 units, and again change is in the air.  Our 100+ year of excluding gay boys and gay volunteers will be up for discussion and on the ballot for the summer national convention. 

After over 17000 emails, 10s of thousands of surveys filled out by scouters, parents, and volunteers, and general discussions with just scouters (no 3rd party organizations), the scouts have decided to amend part of their membership requirements.  The proposal is to allow boys who are openly gay to be Boy Scouts.  It will not amend the adult membership requirements to exclude gay adult volunteers. 

Can you say let's straddle the fence? 

So now those who are against any gays aren't going to be happy, and those who want gays in scouting aren't going to be happy.  *sigh*

I want to point out 2 things.  First a scout should be courteous.  That means that even if we disagree with someone, their opinions or their ideology, we accept who they are and are civil to them just like we are to ANYONE else.  Doesn't mean we have to like them, or agree with them or what they do, just that we have to be courteous to them.  Regardless of what side of the fence you sit on.

Second, if history is going to repeat itself, and if you read above you'll see where I'm going here, it won't be long till this whole issue is behind us and the fact that some one is gay is no more important as if someone was a woman be 75 years ago when they were excluded in scouting.  Within 5 years of the change the cub scouts will be all new, and they won't even know there was a change.  Even the leaders will have to scratch their heads to remember 'when'. 

I understand the reluctance of some, both on religious grounds and in the fear of safety categories.  And I'm willing to have either a private or open dialogue with anyone who would like to with the end goal that you'll feel better about the decision that BSA is heading in that direction.  Note I didn't say you'd agree with it, but that you'd feel better about it.  Less than 10 years ago I would have been with you making sure scouting never changed, so I know where you're coming from.

By the way, the Eagle Lodge #70 doesn't think twice about a black applicant now.  Elks lodge 2413 has as many active women as they do men running the show, and no one ever talks about the days the women weren't allowed.  It will be nice when scouts won't even remember that we ever discriminated against any group.

God Bless,
Dennis

Aging

I've thought a lot about aging this week.  I'm not sure if Pope Benedicts retirement was part of that, or if it's my impending birthday or what it was, but whatever it was a thought popped into my head that was almost scary to me.  On my birthday I will be the same age my father was when I got married the first time (at the age of 29). 

The age of 49 doesn't scare me (I'll be 49 in March).  The age of 50 doesn't scare me.  Being the same age as my father when I was at a major point of my ADULT life scares the hell out of me.  I can't be that old can I? It's bad enough I can open my mouth and hear my father speak when I'm getting on the boys sometimes (I'm still not sure how he does that little trick),  or that I look more and more like my father (no that bald spot on the back of my head did not come from my mothers side of the family), or that while on very different paths we both started our spiritual journeys about the same time in life (can that be genetic too?) but now I have to start being the same age my father was when I was an adult? Really?  Come on now that can't be right!

I'm not sure what age my dad was when he was 49.  You know that mental age of not wanting to grow up, not the physical age of creaky bones.  I think he set it in my spirit though to always keep active, always keep going and always stay young.  Wonder if he was 35 back then...cause that's about where I think I am. 

Wonder what I'm going to feel like when I get to his current age, just shy of 70?  Really 69?  Dang he can't be that old, cause that would mean he had me when he was like 35 or something like that not the 20 I know he was.  See my dilemma here?

God Bless
Dennis

Holiday Creep

Ok there is at least on retailer that I support.

This notion that we should be celebrating Christmas in September is infuriating to me.  We can't get past one holiday before we're not just 1 but 2 holidays ahead at the retail outlets.  Easter candy will be out before you know it.  My wife hates walking into Walmart with me when they put the Christmas rows up before Halloween.  I want to go down each row knocking down every item on the shelves. 

This week a partition went up to Target asking that they not allow the "Holiday Creep" to invade their employees family time.  Target is one of the many retailers opening up on Thanksgiving Day, vice the Black Friday day after.  I totally support the person whom started that (and the many others that have followed).

Targets response is that our customers told us they wanted us to open earlier.  Crack addicts want crack too, but you do give in to their wants.  Someone HAS to take a stand!!!

This is one of the 2 days a year that use to be held sacred in our society. It was family time.  Even with the fights and all, it was a time for kin folks and friends to gather, eat way to much, watch football, sit around telling stories of 'remember when we....' and so forth.  No retailer would of even considered crossing that line 10 - 15 years ago.

So now we have......nope, not even then is retailer free...so we're down to 0 (that's a zero) days that are family days now.  And we wonder why we have such a high divorce rate, why so many of our youth are in trouble, why stress levels are off the charts, and why parents don't have a clue what their kids are doing.

To me it's bad enough that schools no long honor those which use to be traditional holidays. But now the rest of society has turned each holiday into a cash cow and our kids don't have a clue what they stand for even.   Growing up Memorial day, Labor Day, Veterans day, Presidents Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas were all family days.  Picnics,  parades, BBQs, flags, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were staples on those days.  Today they are just another day of school or work. 

There is a solution to all this, but it would take discipline on our citizens parts, something that also has slipped in our society.  But the solution is that everyone stay home Thanksgiving.  Don't go shopping.  Wait till Friday morning to go buy all those Christmas gifts.  Watch a movie with the family.  Sit around the table and talk, laugh, have a glass of wine or what ever, just don't go shopping.

When the retailers put up Easter candy before Christmas is here, or Christmas before Halloween, DON'T buy anything from those aisle till after the holiday before is totally over with.  If all of a sudden those because the slowest moving aisles in the store the stores will change their strategy. 

I agree with Nordstroms, I want to celebrate one holiday at a time, and I want to celebrate it fully before I move to the next season.  Kudos to Nordstroms for taking a stand.  In support I promise to buy something from Nordstroms this season for under the tree.  But don't worry, I won't do it till after Thanksgiving.

God Bless,
Dennis

Veterans Day 2012

This has not been an easy weekend for me.  It's been Veterans Day 2012 weekend.  I've attended 3 events with the Boy Scouts for Veterans Day.  For those who don't know it's the 50th anniversary of the start of the Vietnam War this year.  But that's not what has been so tough on me.

I've never really cared much for Veterans Day.  I feel uncomfortable receiving recognition for not being extraordinary.  My generation had a few skirmishes and the start of Desert Storm, but I didn't have to go through a WWII.  I wasn't rejected as the Vietnam Veterans were on their return.  And I never saw terrorist actions like the young men in Afghanistan or the middle east.  So I'd much rather the attention go to those that do deserve it.   

But this year Taps has a more eerie sound for me.  It's always struck a chord in my heart, but this year, 2012, it's shook me to the core every time I've heard it.  You see, this is the first Veterans Day since one of the heros of WWII passed away, my grandfather Capt. William F. Nesser.  He wasn't in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard.  He was in the Merchant Marines.  He went where our Coast Guard and Navy wouldn't even think of going.  His command went to Russia and points between where u-boats were peppering the waters.

I remember back in the 80's when the Government recognized the Merchant Marines, my grandfather was elated to hold the title of veteran.  He received medals from the governments of France and Russia for his efforts in delivering goods to their countries, but the thing he was proudest of was his DD214 releasing him from military service and making him a veteran.  At his funeral the Navy played taps and handed the family a flag in his honor.  He deserved every bit of it. 

Recently the WWII museum in New Orleans had a display of my grandfathers maritime goods from his time in service and travels around the world.  The article is here if you're interested in reading about him and the museum.

Just weeks before he passed away they spent a day interviewing him about his adventures.  The stories I heard over the last 20 or so years about trips to Russia, watching explosions on the horizon as his buddies ships were blown up and watching them sink, politics over where the cargo ships were to go, and many others are held for my childrens children to remember what this man was part of.  I'm sure I've forgotten as many stories as I remember, but I remember many of them.

WWII vets are becoming fewer and fewer.  My grandfather was 92, and he was a young man when the war started.  If you know a veteran, especially a WWII veteran, make sure you take the time and listen to them.  Hear their stories of adventure of battles and sorrow of losses of their best friends.  It's time you'll never regret.   And honestly I can't think of anything a veteran would want more than to spend a few minutes telling another generation of their hardships and their victories. It really is a great way to pay honor and tribute for all they went through.

God Bless, and may He guide our country and put a protective hand over all the young men and women still in harms way protecting our freedoms.

Dennis Nesser